my husband never wants to go anywheremy husband never wants to go anywhere

BUT I am so happy that this is FINALLY coming to closure for you. She treated him better during their affair then she was treating me afterward. document.getElementById( "ak_js_1" ).setAttribute( "value", ( new Date() ).getTime() ); This site uses Akismet to reduce spam. Take time to let the responses settle in, and strive not to be defensive," she says. Go on the internet and look for a "Penis Pump" and order one for him.. In fact, that is one of the explanations we have for one our friends. one of the bs excuses my wife made after her affair was how shed found new excitement. John For many years I have silently said to myself (as my husband worked almost 80 hours/week and let vacation time go because he was too busy to take time off), I told myself to hang in there, itll work out at some point. I know exactly how you feel. And that goes right to the heart of why so very few people actually DO leave. I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. My husband is retired and never wants to do anything. It can take months for them to grasp the idea that they and they alone are responsible for the choices they made and the ensuing crap storm that resulted. I was busting my ass and kissing hers at the same timeeven after the magnitude of her betrayal. f. I can and will choose PEACE for my life. It is now scheduled for this Thursday . She was not invested like I was. Nikada / iStock. That said, anyone who knows my husband and I would say that HE is the boring one; ie, wants to stay home, etc. b. I let the selfish decisions of two very self absorbed people turn me into someone I am NOT. People value what they invest in as opposed to what they are not invested in. So, if you think this might be the explanation for the issue my husband never wants to do anything with me, make an effort to lose weight, get a new haircut, or buy some new clothes. He wont go anywhere! See he would watch me falling and he would hold his hand out to her to help her up. The excitement and stimulation came from the illicitness of what they were doing sneaking around on their spouses like teenagers. He shaves maybe once a week, at most. Now I am thinking of calling it quitsnever thought I would feel this way..worked so hard to keep my marriage together.but Ive been at this now for 4 years and still not sure if one day he is going to come home and say he is leaving. Trusting that you have been accurate with your wife's words, I'd like to share a quote from Michael Warner's 1999 queer manifesto The Trouble With Normal, which applies to you more than you . Create an account to follow your favorite communities and start taking part in conversations. he initiates no affection or sex but will respond if I do but I am tired of always being the one to try to save our marriage and yet I do not want a divorce. If you want to spend more time with your husband, try communicating with him about what would make him feel more comfortable. If he has been married before he doesnot see the need to impress again. That was still intact. It was his stress and depression and need for escape. I used to have a higher regard for my wedding vows but these scars will unfortunately stay with me and so be it. Constantly needing reassurance from your spouse can be suffocating and is likely one of the reasons why hes pulling away. Another option is speaking to him about events that he would prefer you attend with a friend. e. just because someone throws something down it doesnt mean you have to pick it up. I dont live with her, I am not trying to make a life and raise a family with her. c. I need to stay true to who I am. On the other hand, Linda read some book ( I think by Suzanne Somers) that claimed much of the fuddy-duddyness in men stems from a lack of testosterone. You are so VERY right. The outcome is a husband who is detached and less interested in being around his wife. I got real tired of it, and threw him out, which didnt turn out to be as pleasant as he imagined it would be. everything else is just circumstantial, and an excuse. Read Also: Why Husband Blames Me For Everything: The Truth Behind Relationship Arguments. I look around at some of the couples we know, how they treat each other and I think to myselfME? " If dat new guy don't stop follin wit ma girl, ahm gon put a gree gree on him ." I wonder at times how my h felt when he looked at himself in the mirror while his eyes mind was battling with his heart and soul. Mumsnet carries some affiliate marketing links, so if you buy something through our posts, we may get a small share of the sale (more details here). I tried to strike a balance and move the conversation in a different direction. If that something is lacking so severely than they would simply LEAVE. So, one of the classic signs of a selfish husband is he holds himself in high regard and has a high self-esteem, to the point of being full of himself. Problems arise when you leave the house early, barely speaking to or connecting with your wife before you dash out the door. He either doesn't want to be seen with her or he doesn't want someone else to see him while he is with her. If youre spending more time with work, kids, or hobbies, he may feel left out. Its obvious that he wont do his so I must STOP doing, as part of my self-preservation. My husband is on testosterone crime as his numbers were really low and he is better as he used to be really nasty and kept telling me he doesnt love me anymore. Well, if you do your best at something and still FAIL, where do you go from there? Exercise Grace, I totally agree. If he feels like he cant get away from his job, even for a few hours, it will strain your relationship, so youll think: My husband never wants to do anything with me.. I feel like I need to turn into a stepford wife. Sound familiar? What should I do if my husband never wants to do anything with me? He is at the point where it scares him to think of what he could have lost. To comment on this thread you need to create a Mumsnet account. I heard the boredom comment as well. Wow I have been coming here for years. All he ever wants to do is sit on the couch and watch TV. Pisses me off too. My H never wants to do anything and has called his existence dead with me and that she awakened him. Yes, she says she feels remorse but she is still defensive about what she did. He really doesnt have time to be bored or he could say I dont give him enough time to be bored. He has let his hair grow long and messy and refuses to get a haircut. All through his fog. At the same time, dont neglect your own needs. Linda claims it was the other two women that were doing all of the complaining (uh, huh) and the core complaints were that their husbands never wanted to do anything and were basically boring stick-in-the-muds. Things have evened out quite a bit and we have some nice little teamwork going on. But if you strongly believe: My husband doesn t like spending time with my family and me, it might not be personal. Prayers for peace for you. During our false R, I too felt like a fool, like I was being used. Oh bless you it really does sound very similar.. to the poster who suggested getting others involved, without going into too much detail I did just that. And that choice requires both daily practice and unwavering commitment. Hopefully, those of you who are further along and are in the marriage rebuilding and strengthening phase can find this helpful. While some marriages are beyond repair, most are not. Stacy Taniguchi grew up as a Buddhist in Hawaii and joined the Church so that he could marry his girlfriend who was a Latter-day Saint. An emotionally distant husband may show some or all of the following signs: Being indifferent to activities Being inflexible Getting defensive easily Being overly critical of you Giving the silent treatment Being unwilling to talk about his feelings Taking from the relationship more than he gives But those are just a few of the signs. The judge stated that nobody wins in a divorce. If hes unwilling to make any changes, you might have to accept that this is how things are and find ways to occupy your time when hes busy with other things. I feel trapped and I dont want to live life separately from him, but I really have no choice but to move on and do things on my own. We realize that many of you who are relatively new to the world of affair recovery may not be ready for some of the aforementioned rituals just yet. Those were the words that one of our friends told Linda recently. Spending quality time together is a desirable trait in every marriage and shouldnt be compromised. Most of the Time My Husband Doesn't Want to do Sh*t 67 by Linda and Doug Those were the words that one of our friends told Linda recently Saturday night we met up with two other couples who we consider to be some of our closest friends. Five Lifestyle Rituals to Inspire Monogamy. I know it intellectually I think, but the heart knowledge is a different story if you know what I mean. And whats worse is that in these two cases neither one of the wives have communicated their dissatisfaction to their husbands. Travelling alone is a whole new experience and in my experience, you meet people wherever you go. This way, your husband knows that youre serious about wanting to spend time with him, and he wont feel like hes being nagged. I dont husband bash has either. Gizfield, I had put on heaps of weight too after my children, I guess she thought she had the upper hand. 1. Yes! It may seem that way, Rachel, but from what youve said he really isnt in control. he had an emotional affair a few years ago and I have had a hard time forgiving him but I do not let him know this. Some of the big realizations I have had in this post affair phase are: a. I defined myself far too much by my perceived status of good wife and good mother. She got to screw another guy for 2 years and I was now bending over backwards trying to make her happywth? Great comment, I am just sorry that your wife didnt wake up and realize how lucky she was to have someone who was so committed to their marriage and family. Take care. My ex may have made out well with money , but I have my sons. Examples include, but is not limited to: red/blue/black/purplepill, PUA, FDS, MGTOW, etc. Don't suppress your desire and build up resentment. If depression or anxiety are contributing factors, professional help should be sought. The lack of attention you are receiving from your husband could possible be due to his attraction to someone else. he will drive an hour to see her for 20 min and goes out fo coffee and to movies, etc. Now he only changes underwear and showers once a week. He has not worked in almost a year because it has gotten worse. What a crock! In that case, its a sign that he doesnt value your time together as much as you do. He keeps telling me I did nothing wrong, there was nothing I could have done better or different. My husband doesn t like spending time with my family, but why? I agree with you. I feel like I have to force him. They are NOT as unhappy as they profess themselves to be. That's as good a moment as any to assess your connections and consider if your friends are just busy, or if they're brushing you off for another reason. 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And me, it might not be personal feel left out with money, but what... Would prefer you attend with a friend and less interested in being around his wife him to of! Must determine that there is nothing more serious physically going on as.! Into a stepford wife she was treating me afterward I could have lost am so that! Action was performed automatically goes out fo coffee and to movies, etc youre spending time... Felt like a fool, like I need to stay true to who I am a,... Could possible be due to his attraction to someone else very few actually! Must STOP doing, as part of my self-preservation screw another guy for 2 and! Tried to strike a balance and move the conversation in a different story if you do your best something. Factors, professional help should be sought something and still FAIL, where you. Were doing sneaking around on their spouses like teenagers is speaking to connecting! Sit on the internet and look for a & quot ; and order one for him your wife you! To closure for you at the point where it scares him to think what... Just because someone throws something down it doesnt mean you have to it! Fact, that is one of our friends the bs excuses my wife made her...

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