** The ghost-with-the-most is coming to life on stage in this original musical based on Tim Burton's wonderfully demented film of the same . Act I 1. But honey, whatever it is you think youre looking for, youre not gonna find it. GOOD OLD FASHIONED WEDDING WITH SOME DANCING AND UN-DEADING. My names not Otho! Ill just ask Adam and Barbara. BARBARA: Lydia, why did Beetlejuice give that to you? This book is dangerous! If we want our house back, we have to fight for it! (BEETLEJUICE possesses BARBARA and ADAM.). Now normally, I would use a plumbline for this, but Im not too shabby with a freehand. LYDIA: Okay. Today, we come together to mourn the passing of Emily Deetz. So lets scare my dad! Except her. So, goodbye. BEETLEJUICE: Looks like we're not invisible anymore! And you heard what he said, any ghost can do that possession stuff. But thats only because I WISH YOU WERE NEVER BORN! One big dark room. I can bring your daddy so much pain. And life is the only way out! BARBARA: Well, whatd you expect? Shade Maternal, Fate Infernal. CHARLES: Dont say that. What am I doing? Beetlejuice Wiki is a FANDOM Movies Community. And you won't believe how far I'll go. So, I have an idea. LYDIA: Hey Maybe we can help each other. Thats why youre here. My name is Lydia Deetz. Except for you, Dead Mom. He was fast! Im not comfortable withfeelingsyou know that. ADAM: My whole life flashed before my eyes! I cancelled the exorcist, and Ive hired someone better. Thank God you didn't die in Italy.". But she was talking about us. Do you remember what I said? BEETLEJUICE: HIS NAME WAS KEVIN! LYDIA: I really like you guys. Were going to live here! Im not sure youre equipped. After Adam and Barbara realized that Lydia wasn't like the rest of her family, they didn't want Betelgeuse to scare her anymore. (referring to DELIA.) Oo! I have some good news. To the dead. Welcome to MsMojo, and today we're counting down our picks for the Top 10 Dance Scenes in '80s Movies. I took a very big risk with this place. As your guru Otho always said, this is taking too long! Time. In the world of the dead? Eh, it was worth a shot. OTHO: Let me say it (dramatically) DEATH! Beetlejuice the Musical Script by Jesse. LYDIA: It's like I told you, Dad: This house is haunted and the ghosts who live here want you out! BARBARA: Yeah! No you cant do that! Hey, I get it! LYDIA: I can't keep living like this! Put er there! I designed it to reflect wealth, sophistication, and above all-. YES! BEETLEJUICE: WHY GOD-SLASH-SATAN, DID YOU SEND THESE BED WETTERS? Adorable! EVEN, LIKE, A TAX ATTORNEY WOULD'VE BEEN BETTER, SOMEBODY WITH GRAVITAS SOMEBODY TO FEAR WHO, ADAM: Excuse me, Mr. Beetlejuice we can kind of hear you. Youll have to open the door to find out. Gonna go on a little vision quest, find my dad. I FOUND MY FREQUENCY CRYSTALS SPEAK TO ME, EVERYTHING, EVERYTHING HAPPENS FOR A REASON, THERE ARE SPIRITUAL GUIDES ABOVE LOOK UP AND SEE 'EM, JUST LISTEN TO THE MELODY THE UNIVERSE SINGS, 'CAUSE EVERYTHING, EVERYTHING HAPPENS FOR A REASON, THE UNIVERSE IS JUST THE CONTENTS OF TIME, MATTER AND SPACE, LYDIA: NINETY-ONE BILLION LIGHT-YEARS ACROSS AND THE EARTH'S A SMALL PLACE, THE PACIFIC ISLANDS ARE SINKING BUT NEGATIVE THINKING IS HARDLY THE CAUSE, YOU THINK LIFE IS ALL UNICORNS AND RAINBOWS 'CAUSE YOU'RE BORED, LYDIA: AND POSITIVITY IS A LUXURY THAT FEW CAN AFFORD, DELIA: NO NO NO! You asked me, I'm answering. Gain full access to show guides, character breakdowns, auditions, monologues and more! You are like ice! GIRL SCOUT: THIS IS IT THE DAY I'VE BEEN WAITING FOR, WISHING, HOPING, WORKING, AND PRAYING FOR, THE DAY MY PARENTS HAVE BEEN DELAYING FOR YEARS, IT'S NOT THEIR FAULT THAT THEY'RE OVERPROTECTIVE, I WAS BORN WITH ARRHYTHMIA MY HEART IS DEFECTIVE, ONLY TAKES ONE SHOCK AND I COULD BE DEAD FROM THE FEAR, THE GIRL SCOUTS HELPED MY HEART GROW STRONG, THEY'D HAVE MY BACK IF ANYTHING WENT WRONG WITH ME, DISTRACT ME FROM THE FACT THAT MY HEART COULD STOP. CHARLES: Because it hurts too much! These ghosts are gonna make us a fortune! Itty bitty price, more of a favor really. BEETLEJUICE: Get in there Babs! Youre still breathing arent you? The fact is, shes been having a hard time since LYDIA: Oh father! Now lets hurry up and leave this god forsaken house. Like a gay republican! MAXINE: And hell do it! Yes, Beetlejuice, THE MUSICAL, which opened on the Great White Way on April 25, 2019 and closed, due to the COVID-19 pandemic on March 10, 2020, and reopened on April 8, 2022 permanently closed . CHARLES: What? And life! You! Teen And Up Audiences. Lydia is injured at work but the Ghost with the Most decides it's his job to take care of her which starts to bring Adam and Charles around on the terribly suited relationship. (a beat.) I love old books. 7 a script for the sequel was commissioned. Are you alright? I sense your touch. Teeter played the role of Lydia in the hit musical, and her performance was nothing short of amazing. And Im not gonna let you take it from her! Beetlejuice:: *stops her* hey i get it you and me were not that different. It will play its final show at the Marquis Theater on Jan. 8, 2023. This is such an interesting font! LYDIA: Wow, this is going to be such an interesting night! I'M GONNA MAKE HIM SAY MY NAME, I'LL MAKE HIM SAY MY NAME (MAKE HIM SAY YOUR NAME). CHARLES: Lydia, in twenty-four hours, Maxie Dean will be here to have dinner with our family. LYDIA: Yeah. CHARLES: About that I thought that after everything weve been through Well, I just thought that both of us could use a fresh start. Well actually it was just this really hot apartment in Queens, where the doors locked from the outside. (Instrumental with screams layered as BEETLEJUICE is unleashed.). But I swear to you, we will. I am also dead. The ghost-with-the-most comes to the stage in this edgy and irreverent musical comedy based on Tim Burton's dearly beloved film. BEETLEJUICE: NO! By the time you read this, I will be gone, having jumped off . 4) "JAG" 18) The film "Beetlejuice" ended with Lydia dancing to what song? BARBARA: We are not aluminum siding people! she utters this indignant monologue. LYDIA: I dont wanna forget about her. OTHO: Its Kevin! I havent always been such a good mother. Otho : [while Lydia shows them the attic] Fabulous. Im Barbara, this is Adam. Beetlejuice: please don't make me beg *kneels* fine im begging okay i'm so sick and tired of being. The full DC BJ script | Smule Social Singing Karaoke app. BARBARA: THEN THERE'S THE WHOLE DARN ECONOMY, ADAM AND BARBARA: READY TO TAKE THE NEXT STEP. (a beat.) DELIA: Youre breaking up with me AND firing me? Do you understand what Im proposing? CHARLES: Sweet Jesus, Delia we need a real exorcist! If I get Maxie Dean in my corner, the investments will pour in. CHARLES: Delia! Just a bunch of Howards and then you die. Now, we dont have a lot of time. Respect. Hope I didnt scare you (screams) ARITHMIA 1234. Hold on! Also, no liquids! Im a dead guy, stuck in the world of the living with nothing, and no one to share it with. OH-OH-OH-OH-OH-OH-OH-OH. See that tiny little house up there? MAXINE: OH STOP! I mean, not this, I dont think anyone could have predicted this. "The Swamp" in The Acting Coach Approach: 48 Monologues for Kids . this hilarious musical tells the story of lydia deetz, a strange and unusual teenager whose whole life changes when she meets a recently deceased couple and a demon with a thing . DELIA: Lydia, I know that I am paid to care about you, but Id like us to be real friends! BEETLEJUICE: Well make it snappy, I WANT CAKE! LYDIA: Oh. JUNO: You are the embarrassment. BEETLEJUICE: Fine! And there is a way. DELIA: No, I thought youd be proud of me for taking inititAHve. Im gonna teach you guys how to be ghosts! Ill do it. Right now, just outside the walls of this house, nestled in the hatch back of my Toyota Prius, is a mysterious object of my own design. So! And you wont even say her name. BEETLEJUICE: No. MAXIE DEAN: Oh, dont mind her. Ive already been to hell and back. This iteration of Scott Brown and Anthony King's musical, with music and lyrics by Eddie Perfect, is otherwise nearly identical and keeps all the musical's hit songs intact, including the viral hit "Say My Name" and the Harry Belafonte classic "Day-O (The Banana Boat Song)." In the show, the titular Beetlejuice is a demon who's stuck haunting a . AND I DONT KNOW HOW TO PROCESS MY ANGER BECAUSE AS A SOCIETY WE DONT TEACH MEN HOW TO PROCESS THEIR ANGER, SO MAYBE ILL JUST TRYMURDER! I wish I was still alive, I WAS DRIVING LAMBORGHINIS SIPPING SUPER-DRY MARTINIS, AN UNHAPPY BEAUTY QUEEN WHO DREAMED TO BE MISS ARGENTINA, I WOULD'VE STUCK IT OUT KNOWING WHAT LIFE'S ABOUT, I WOULD HAVE LOOKED WITHIN AND LET LOVE IN SOMEHOW, SEE A SHRINK CALL A PRIEST ASK THE RECENTLY DECEASED, DEATH IS FINAL AND YOU CANNOT PRESS REWIND, SKYDIVER: DON'T JUMP WHEN THE LIGHT IS RED, TOASTER LADY: TOASTERS SHOULD BE USED FOR BREAD, FOOTBALL PLAYER: NIETZSCHE WAS RIGHT, Y'KNOW, TO LIVE IS TO SUFFER, BRO, I WOULD'VE LAUGHED AND DANCED AND LANCED EVERY SACRED COW, 'CAUSE LIFE IS SHORT BUT DEATH IS SUPER LONG, MISS ARGENTINA: IF I KNEW THEN (IF I KNEW), ALL: I WOULD'VE CROSSED EVERY LINE AND DRANK ALL THE WINE, I WOULD RIDE THE HIGHS AND CHERISH THE LOWS, GOING, IT'S A QUICK TRICK 'ROUND THE RODEO, MISS ARGENTINA: SO BEFORE THEY LOWER THE CURTAIN, BE CERTAIN TO ENJOY THE SHOW, ENSEMBLE: LIFE IS SHORT BUT DEATH IS LONG HERE, ONE MINUTE THEN IT'S GONE. Bu BEETLEJUICE: I wanted to help you guys, its literally all I wanted, but the two of you are helpless. CHARLES:Yes, but we have to move forward! BEETLEJUICE: Well, yeah, because youre not recently deceased. LYDIA: Mom?! Proceed directly to the Netherworld! And that is why you need me! Results may vary. Thats great! . AND Im from New Jersey! Lady, you're forgetting something! When Lydia calls on Beetlejuice to scare away her . BARBARA: Wait, what? ADAM: Hes going to kill someone! Can you believe people actually lived here? DELIA: (Ringing Triangle.) I am utterly alone. MONSTER BEETLEJUICE: Your not invisible when you're me! I realized that I dont want to go through life alone. LYDIA: Handbook For The Recently Deceased? Can I see? . DELIA: Dont you worry Charles, if we make it look fabulous, no one will ever know its actually crushingly insecure and older than it says it is. CHARLES: HELLO! Mr. what Im trying to say is; I hired you to help my daughter, but you have ended up helping me. BEETLEJUICE: Why do you gotta be so hard on me, Mom? You said no Ink Spots on this vacation! LYDIA: What are you talking about? MAITLANDS: BJ IS A GRADUATE OF JUILLIARD! SO WE MIGHT AS WELL WALK THROUGH SOME WALLS, 'CAUSE ADAM, WE'RE READY AS WE'LL EVER GET, I GOTTA GET RIGHT OUTSIDE MY COMFORT ZONE. And speaking of, right on time! Alright. Now rise, and be released from death! Im ready for some people to die. Now Charles, weve not yet discussed my fee. OTHO: Then lets get to it! (giggle) Just kidding! No one likes it, throw it out.. (exits), BEETLEJUICE: YOU'RE INVISIBLE WHEN YOU'RE ME, I VANISHED LIKE A CLOUD OF DIRTY HIPSTER VAPE, LYDIA: By the time you read this I, Lydia Deetz, will be gone there's nothing for me here I'm alone, forsaken, invisible. Please, dont spin the wheel! Scouts honor, but that books got a lot of dangerous stuff in it. Never change! Then you will know that I am no longer . JUNO: Oh, look at you! And I like the attic! JUNO: I shouldve guessed youd be mixed up in all of this! LYDIA: I dont know. My first name is Lawrence. Ages 12-17: Camp Broadway Ensemble @ Carnegie Hall. Theyre chasing me! Adam, youre boring. LYDIA: Yeah, me too. Do you mind if we all share this house! I mean you saw these schmucks up here. Alone. AGHHHH, ADAM: HOLD ON ONE DAMN MINUTE! Woah, sorry, I didnt mean to yell its justYou make daddy so angry. MOVER 2: Eh, who cares, its going to the dump! (a beat or two.) FROM TETRALOGY OF FALLOT IN MY PULMONARY ARTERY! This is so wrong, your my employee, but also my lover! . THIS FEATURE IS ONLY AVAILABLE FOR PRO MEMBERS. BEETLEJUICE: Oh, not so fast Mr. Soulbox. And I think Ill take a chance on life! Uh, hey! I am a very sexual being, and I do love me an orgy, but I say this with love, but you all dont strike me as the orgying kind. Youre leaving me? /Say my name/. Beetlejuice is ruder, raunchier and frankly, more repellent than ever in this original musical based on Tim Burton's wonderfully demented film. So, what do you say? LYDIA: Recently Deceased. BEETLEJUICE: Please dont make me beg. And that makes me feel oh god, I actually feel! ADAM: So he sent little Howard the third, and long story short, I got the last bottle of Manchurian Tung oil! Upgrade to PRO (laughs) Hell do it. The rule bookI present: The Handbook for The Recently Deceased. Maybe the most haunting thing about "Beetlejuice," the new musical version of the 1988 Tim Burton movie that is having its world premiere at the National Theatre, is the creepy feeling of . ADAM: Well this just says Beetlejuice, Beetlejuice, Beetlejuice. LYDIA: Really? And Ive got a plan! BEETLEJUICE: WOO! But we just have to hold onto each other and live through it. I thought she was talking about us. Its about love! Where are you? All I have to do is convince Lydia to marry me. Oh my god! Girl, just say it three times in a row. Is that why youre wearing those sheets? (a beat.) DELIA: Charles! I dont know what I did. BARBARA: Lydia, no, you don't know what will happen. BEETLEJUICE See, this is what life is. And nothing else exists. Thats a neat trick. BEETLEJUICE: Your mom? Maxie Dean will be here for dinner in two days. beetlejuice baby, when you're toast you're toast and i'm the ghost you're gonna need the most you need a demon who's smart helping you master the art so how 'bout we all make a start on the whole, you know, let's face it mourners (cont'd) dies irae oh so irae dies irae dies irae dies irae ah ah mourners (cont'd) ah ah ah ah ah ah beetlejuice & mourners god i hope you're ready for . CHARLES: Hey! Wait, why aren't you dancing? BEETLEJUICE: YouareADORABLE (kisses Adam) HA! CHARLES: Good! But you can. Based on the 1988 film starring Michael Keaton, the musical tells the story of Lydia Deetz, an offbeat teenager whose life changes when her family moves into a home inhabited by a recently . ADAM: The electoral college! BEETLEJUICE: Yeah, time moves differently when youre dead, but boy does it move. But, its true, I was kicked in the head by a dressage horse. Im not buying it, time to die! BARBARA: We are! ADAM: (BARBARA screams.) BEETLEJUICE: (sinisterly.) I need to really live, really connect! Unless of course, its a murder suicide, which makes for a very awkward eternity. CHARLES: Wouldnt even know where to start. BEETLEJUICE: I mean you literally jumped into hell to get away from me. THE MAITLANDS: (ghostly.) Careful Charles! ADAM: Oh! BEETLEJUICE: AHH YOU FOOLED ME WITH LOVE! CHARLES: Delia, there is nothing in your head. People! He is so mean to me! Monologues are presented on StageAgent for educational purposes only. And then mom said, Lets clean up. And she made us sing that song she always loved. BARBARA: Ill make a (a beat.) IN THE WORLD, BE PREPARED TO TAKE YOUR EGGS AND FREEZE 'EM , DELIA: 'CAUSE EVERYTHING, EVERYTHING HAPPENS, LYDIA: SOUNDS LIKE TERRIBLE THINGS CAN HAPPEN. Based on his/her attributes, we recommend you consider these audition pieces! Sophia Anne Caruso, who originated the role of Lydia Deetz in Broadway's Beetlejuice, has exited the production as of its Wednesday, Feb. 19 show. PRIEST: In times like these, we have no words, we have only each other. ADAM: So, crazy story. BEETLEJUICE: Oh yeah? Except, this one year we tried to do a classic horror theme. 3."My whole life is a dark room. You brought him to life, just so you could kill him? JUST THINK OF THE UNIVERSE AS A FEMALE BEST FRIEND, AND YOU CAN BE LIKE "HEY, UNIVERSE, WHAT'S HAPPENIN', GIRL? Now, heres the plan; I cant make the living say my name, but with a little help from me, those newlydeads can. Get the shrimp! BARBARA: Adam, I dont think we survived that fall. And its not fair, you know? The new musical had originally been slated to end its run on June 6, but the show was . No no no no no. (Smokes.) No one is like me! ADAM: What is that? We couldve been such a great team. Based on the 1988 Burton film, this musical delves into the life of oddball teen Lydia Deetz, who meets a recently deceased couple and an unruly demon willing to help them haunt a house. MISS ARGENTINA: DID YOU EVEN READ THE HANDBOOK? I love it! I dont wanna die! Delia! Beetlejuice The Musical is rumoured to open in London's West End in Spring 2023. (a beat.) Mmmmmm, yes! LYDIA: Then Ill find a way to do it myself. ADAM: CHEFS WHO USE TOO MUCH SAGE WHEN THEY MAKE BEURRE NOISETTE, BEETLEJUICE: WELL, THERE'S LOTS THERE TO USE, TAKE A DEEP BREATH AND GIVE ME YOUR BEST PRIMAL SCREAM, BEETLEJUICE: TRY IT AGAIN MAYBE THIS TIME PRETEND LIKE YOU MEAN IT. DELIA: Why does this always happen to me? SCIENCE MAKES NO SENSE WHO NEEDS EVIDENCE? Beetlejuice : I'm Lydia Deetz and I'm of sound mind. She held her lip between her teeth and went to find him at once. So if you wanna save Barbara, then I need you to marry me! Demon's Dance. Wow, are those birds? BARBARA: I know. BEETLEJUICE: Nothing, so your dad wants to suck me into this fancy box. LYDIA: YeahItd be terrible if we all let each other down, DELIA: (Rings Triangle.) People dont read. CHARLES: Lydia! 'Otho Fenlock's Locked Door Ghosts' Probably committed suicide up there. OTHO: (offstage.) DELIA: Why thank you, future step-daughter. Im not going anywhere! CHARLES: Oh yes, Lydia, she uh, Im afraid she wont be joining us. Take care of them. You know, my guru Otho says Depression is like an ugly sweater. Dont have a lot of dangerous stuff in it firing me from me to the dump ) Hell do.. 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